My plan was simple this week: rationalise the Tupperware. My mum had donated a set of co-ordinating, fitted Tupperware items which stacked inside one another, including lids, greatly increasing the potential for all our storage kits to fit within one small pile, rather than to have them stashed away, willy-nilly and, indeed, teetering on the brink of collapse, on a scarcely-reachable shelf in the cupboard (new kitchen is very high up on my wish list, although one below ‘garage conversion’, which is not a euphemism for any kind of ‘personal’ plastic surgery, which has been suggested on occasion, but literally a desire to turn our garage into an inhabitable room, rather than an Arctic waste of things I didn’t know I owned).
But where, oh where, oh where, are all the existing Tupperware lids? And where do the lids that don’t fit any of the existing Tupperware containers come from? There don’t seem to be any missing containers (not that I can recall), but there is lids galore. And there is also containers galore, which the off-sized lids fail to fit.
Which, however, came first, the container or the lid? This conundrum has been puzzling me all day.
It is Tupperware’s strange behaviour that has alerted me to a similar phenomenon across the kitchen accessories overall. Pans minus lids – and pan lids are big, where can they go? That isn’t one to blame on the dishwasher; unfamiliar glass receptacles; less Champagne flutes than I was expecting; unidentified spatula-style utensils – they’re all part of the same classification of Unclassifiable Inanimate Objects (if you can have a classification of the unclassifiable – please allow me, for the purposes of this piece).
So I think I will start a therapy group for Confused and Confusing Kitchen Items. I will bring the ungrouped and the oddities together and help them to find a use for themselves by teaming them up with others without a logical second, third or fourth part to their name. It is possible that in this process I will discover a new unbeatable kitchenware opportunity: Champagne from a small Tupperware pot, for example, as the fourth ‘glass’ in the set, for those guests who you simply can’t trust with your Waterfords. Or a Tupperware lid joining the spatula and scraper collection as a giant flipper, to chisel off Spanish omelettes that have adhered to the frying pan. That sort of thing. It strikes me that the market is endless – and judging from the ubiquity of ‘gadgets you never knew you needed’ store Lakeland, these are products that might just strike a chord. Next stop Dragons Den, perhaps.