The one about a new weapon of mass destruction

26 May
A new weapon of mass destruction

Parents – beware

Stop the press! This one’ll be of interest to COBRA, I swear. The Ls have discovered a new deadly weapon of mass destruction: the non-stop whinge (Whinge – acronym for What the Hell Is Not Good Enough).

Its power to destroy the will to live amongst the adult population of our house is second-to-none.  Within minutes of Whinge deployment, M and I are cowering, ruined, wanting only the end, in whatever form it may arrive, with all speed.


Before now I have found comfort in the fact that Whinge is not just an active warfare agent in our household, but universally in those of my parenting friends.  We huddle together in bunkers (dining rooms) of a night, clutching Whinge’s only known antidote (booze), sharing stories of war, destruction and some hopeful, probably apocryphal, tales of survival, and praying for a respite from the Whinge assault at least until the morning, when we will be stronger through sharing and sleep, and better able to deal with the next Whinge attack.

However, today, I have been struck by a sinister thought.  What if the fact we share the Whinge experience, a fact previously of such support to me, is actually a truly sinister sign of an impending coup by the under-10s.  Let’s look at the evidence.

1) They all do it
2) We are all unmanned / unwomanned by its occurrence

Therefore, parents of the world, we must unite.  If we all collapse before a concentrated simultaneous attack of Whinge, they will be mainlining Red Bull, subsisting on chewing gum, outlawing broccoli, sleeping with the dog and spending all night on the DS before the year is out.


2 Responses to “The one about a new weapon of mass destruction”

  1. dirtyrottenparenting May 31, 2012 at 10:38 pm #

    Loved your acronym, What the Hell is Not Good Enough! and the only known antidote – booze! There are actually 2 antidotes… booze and more booze!

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