The one about trying to explain inevitability

11 Jun

For me, my return to full-time in-office work is a true watershed moment (even though the slidey wet weather gives me more than a few quite literally watery moments).  It means I am on the road from recovery to normality, and so for me is to be cheered.

Emotions are very different for my little L1, however, so as is always the case in these circumstances I am truly sad as she is sad.  In the back of my mind had been the thought that me not in a great way but at home might be preferable, for her, than me in a great way but not at home, but I hadn’t fully computed how hard it would hit her.

While I have been back working full time since mid-May, part of my days have been at home, which means pre 9am and post 5.30, there I have been.  I have loved that side of convalescence (as they say, every cloud), but like Mat Leave and holidays, all circumstantial temporary changes must come to an end, and I always saw it as such.  For L1, however, there is no understanding why it can’t be like this for good.  ‘Going back to work’ has meant not much really.  After all, I have been in one state or another of ‘off-ness’ for half a term – a lifetime in her little world.  She allowed herself to hope, and today that hope was dashed.

The only plan I have is simple.  Lots of hugs and attention, and home time as soon as I can every day.  The pattern of our usual life will soon re-establish itself, but for now we’ll be spending more time than usual snuggled down just being together, and we will all try not to be too sad.

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2 Responses to “The one about trying to explain inevitability”

  1. Alyssa S. June 11, 2012 at 7:53 pm #

    It does get better…mostly. I went back to work full time nearly 2 years ago and my youngest still asks me if I will “stay home tomorrow” EVERYDAY. As the primary wage earner, that just isn’t happening. Still, over time it has gotten better.

    • lizrossmartyn June 14, 2012 at 8:05 pm #

      Thank you – hearing other peoples’ situations certainly helps

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