Santa’s going to get confused

7 Dec

CThe Ls have written four letters to Santa, to date.  Firstly there was the standard note listing everything they desired sliding down the chimney courtesy of the man with the beard in exchange for some sub-standard alcoholic spirit and a nibble of broccoli for the reindeer (a low point in our Santa sorting – I had to bite the broccoli to imitate Rudolph’s teeth: I had forgotten to wash it and it did not taste appropriate). This note I read and amended (“an iPad! Santa won’t bring you one of those before he brings me one you know! A holiday to Disneyland! He believes commercial airliners pose a threat to his sleigh in flight and so can’t endorse that” – incidentally, I got myself in a mess with that last statement and flights on Christmas Eve, but that’s probably another story altogether – and so on) before posting addressed to Santa, the North Pole (unstamped – sorry to our lovely postman, I am that person) last week.

Secondly, there was the online printable letter plus response provided by the grandparents during one of their weekly visits over there. The tragedy occurred when L2 forgot to bring his home. Devastation ensued, and his kind sister ruled the computer print-outs invalid due to only one child having a mention. But both of course claimed that Santa (omniscient) knew what they were after anyway.

In this letter, the requests were more reasonable, but due to my previous editing, they differed slightly from draft one.

Thirdly, in one of her forays onto my BlackBerry Playbook (no, no iPad for me, you see), L1 discovered a program where Santa sent a video message to the lucky recipient. Excitedly, she drafted her demands, e-mailing herself with what she believed to be an mpg of the man himself assuring her that the objects of her desires were on their way. They may be, but the mpg wasn’t, and therefore that attempt didn’t quite get off the ground. But did Santa see? This is, of course, the question of the hour.

And finally, tonight, using the same tablet opportunity to browse without my carefully placed anti-Santa laptop Google safe search in place (yeah, I know, you can’t do that, but I can dream), L1 found a site (American – we had to discuss why he wrote ‘gotten’ instead of ‘got’ – I blamed the intense busyness of the current season for the big man) which sent a letter back to the e-mailing child. Again, this contained slightly different requirements than the previous three, and has been deemed ‘the definitive’ – for now.

My list (hidden) of ‘Santa gifts’ is riven with crossings-out and amendments. What he’s going to bring them is frankly entirely arbitrary: whatever I can read, essentially, is what they’re going to get. I will blame the multiple communication attempts for any errors that may occur. And since this is (I fear) the final year they’ll both believe, I’m going to enjoy every second of the magic while it lasts, even though Santa’s probably tearing his hair out right now…

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